strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
