I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
