u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Randomize
