im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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