Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Randomize
