Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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