ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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