Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
