Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
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