Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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