I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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