Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
