I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
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