I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
