I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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