The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Randomize
