If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
