dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
