Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
