we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Randomize