I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Randomize
