He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
You made out with two different species that night
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares