ADVERTISEMENT

• (313): View more from Michigan

  nut hugger

  Fav 4 1210 1199

  share tweet
  

• (858): View more from California

  I like my sex mixed with concussions.

  Fav 6 1383 925

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (912): View more from Georgia

  I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.

  Fav 22 3406 1094

  share tweet
  

• (402): View more from Nebraska

  Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.

  Fav 8 1304 3074

  share tweet
  
• 

  21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (281): View more from Texas

  thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.

  Fav 7 3616 1148

  share tweet
  

• (270): View more from Kentucky

  A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.

  (1-270): View more from Kentucky

  Now it's a party.

  Fav 10 1615 2792

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (229): View more from Georgia

  I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.

  Fav 4 1359 806

  share tweet
  

• (781): View more from Massachusetts

  We need more drag queens in our life I've decided

  Fav 3 1377 845

  share tweet
  

• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.

  Fav 3 1829 1155

  share tweet
  
• 

  27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (202): View more from Washington, DC

  I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...

  Fav 7 1115 688

  share tweet
  

• (903): View more from Texas

  Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.

  (936): View more from Texas

  You are the coolest girlfriend ever.

  Fav 4 1949 688

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (707): View more from California

  Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..

  Fav 6 1101 555

  share tweet
  

• (210): View more from Texas

  It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.

  Fav 3 775 553

  share tweet
  

• (810): View more from Michigan

  i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.

  Fav 1 360 206

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios

  Fav 2 38 18

  share tweet
  

Randomize