16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
