And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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