Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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