is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
I'm really busy with my period
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