FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
