Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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