i don't plan on having that self control this summer
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
