Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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