drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Randomize
