I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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