I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Randomize
