Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
