We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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