I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
