oh god the rape fog is back!
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Boobs speak an international language.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Randomize