I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
she told me i tasted like america
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
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