Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
True strength comes from lack of pants
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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