covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
