i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
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