their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
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Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
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Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7