Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
