Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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