there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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