Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
