man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
My vagina is officially offended.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
