brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
They are going to name an STD after you.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
