his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
