Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
