is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
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When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
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