we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
