she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
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