Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Randomize