if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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