she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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