4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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