I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
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