Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
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