Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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